OK, You Win Christmas.

Warning: contains gross generalizations about whole countries of people, hear-say, humor, exaggeration, and things based solely on my experience.

I have to declare, after my first Christmas "at home" in England, that the British really do Christmas far better than we do in America (with the exception of not containing all my beloved family, my friends, good guacamole, coffee cake, nor TraderJoe's). Let me explain...and note that if you're not a Christmas celebrator, for whatever reason, on that front the UK doesn't really offer much relief. Sorry.

Christmas music begins in early December, not November, and it is just a smattering of tunes until about the 20th and then it is still by no means non-stop. There is a daily radio reminder of how many days there are until Christmas and countdown clocks in many places as well as decorations and sales of Christmas things all around. But that incessant drone of every cheesy tune recorded and recorded a hundred times, that inability to turn on a radio or shop in store without being bombarded by MariahCarey, the pain of going into any waiting room - it just doesn't happen here. I know! I see you plotting your UK visa application as we speak. Sweet relief!

A brief post-script to the music thing - they don't seem to do the novelty songs here at all. No Adam Sandler song's to nod at Chanukah, no Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. Nada. Though some of their native tunes (songs recorded by British artists over the years that never made it to the US for good reason) border on inadvertent humor tunes.

In a few years time I'll probably regret this, but the fact that virtually every event, service, informal gathering, shopping center, party, road-side stand, Christmas tree farm, historic house, garden shop, Santa's Grotto (see below), end of term parent meetings, YOU NAME IT offers you a mince pie and mulled wine (or non-alcoholic hot cider) is kind of adorable. The average Brit consumes about 27 mince pies every Christmas (7 million are left out on Xmas Eve for Santa along with liquor, not milk) and as far as I can tell only a handful of those are eaten at home. The rest are being handed out, sold for charity, or bought at a ridiculous mark-up in tea shops and cafes all over the country. The mulled wine too flows everywhere. Alcohol consumption in the UK rises by about 40% over the holidays and I'm guessing the mulled wine pushers on every corner are at least partly responsible.

Ok, you waited patiently, a "Santa's Grotto" is like the mall Santa thing in America. And just like in the States there is a great variety and quality to these spots. It seems where I am that every "garden center" (that's garden/home store to y'all) has one of these. We went to one at the "rural life center" nearby that had a steam train drive you out to a small village with displays, animals, elves working in a workshop, and a Santa that knew the kids' names and gave them a present. No photo packages were offered. The gifts were not sponsored by Coca-cola. Of course, the Santa was also just kind of OK (fake beard, pillow substituting for mince pie fed bowl full of jelly). You can do more commercial Grottos but they're not the only or most popular options.

What I am told is a more recent tradition here, is my favorite. The churches here do an afternoon service on Christmas Eve (and since the sun goes down at 3:30, it is dark at 5 for it!) wherein the kids are all invited to dress up! You can come as any character from the Nativity story. Then when they do the readings, the kids participate. The angels lead the shepherds, the stars lead the wise men, and all the Mary's, Joseph's, and barnyard beasts hang out in the barn. It is nothing short of adorable.

Someone here commented to me that they felt Christmas in the UK was more commercial than in the US. They said this because the US has a reputation here for being more non-secular. Funnily, I find it almost the opposite. Christmas is a bigger deal, a larger celebration in the UK. Though is isn't necessarily in-your-face-Jesus here, I think it is hard to avoid and would be hard to participate in other celebrations at or near Christmas as they are definitely over-looked. Whereas in America, it can feel SO commercial. SO you MUST be MERRY. And in both places there is pressure to give lots of presents, to almost give more than you can or should "because it's Christmas." Maybe I am seeing it differently as a first timer, maybe I'm looking back at America with skewed vision too. But I have enjoyed the Christmas season here in the UK. There are literally hundred of activities and events centered around the holiday, some secular and some not, all fairly cool and fun. Want to ice skate? Want to shop in an out-door Christmas market? Want to ride a carousel and eat hot chestnuts? Want to see a group of reenactors make a Tudor Christmas dinner? Want a sleigh ride? Want to watch a farcical version of fairy tale (aka a Pantomine*)? There's one on every day in December. No really. Every day.

One last tiny thing I learned that I found fascinating. The last day of work (for most middle class people) before the "hols" is a huge party day. The amount of alcohol purchased nation-wide on this day is higher than Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve. That's a lot of office party hangovers!

Thanks for reading and I wish you a new year filled with love and light plus a little pain and darkness so you can be extra thankful for the good stuff.

PS - Love Actually film fans, the whole "Christmas Number One" song thing is actually really a thing! But sadly, there were no lobsters in any nativity plays I saw.

*I haven't been to a live Pantomine. I will go one day. But until then, if you don't know what I mean and you live in Raleigh, it is like Ira's A Christmas Carol but more crass. Everyone else, it is like the Three Stooges meets Disney meets South Park (with less cursing).