Dear Librarians, don't tell children there's no such thing as monsters.

Dear librarians, I know this isn't most of you. But if you know anyone who works with children that does this, sit them down, give them a cup of tea and a fairy cake and tell them they have to stop right now.

I took my toddler to a library today and found myself listening to a young librarian reading stories to about half dozen children huddle expectantly at her feet. She made several egregious errors in her reading, not the least of which was calling a cheetah a leopard, but one thing she did really made want to give her a good shake about the shoulders.

She said there was no such thing as monsters. She also said you can't reach the stars in the sky. She proclaimed one's inability to be friends with an eagle. In other words, she said don't believe these books I'm reading you; these stories are silly. Don't imagine they might be true. Don't reach your arms up to the sky and hope that something might raise you up into the clouds. Because these, these are just words and pictures without meaning.

How dare you! Don't ever do that again! There are words. Juicy, dreamy, stuff of stars words and they just so happen to be paired with gorgeous, whimsical, absolutely to be believed pictures crafted to feed the knowledge all children are born with - anything I can imagine can be real. I am bear whose best friends are a bird and a frog! I am a bunny building a rocket ship to the stars! I am a panda whose sneezes can blow over whole towns!

I am certain that this woman in no way meant to crush the imaginations of children. What she was doing, mostly, was asking questions to the children with no thought to what they might think the answer could be. She decided the answers to all her questions before she even spoke them aloud. A pouting bird claimed to be collecting stones rather than riding in a boat with his bear friend because he was jealous of his new frog friend. The reader declared, "Is it fun to collect rocks? No, no it isn't. I'd much rather ride in a boat, wouldn't you? Of course you would." Sorry lady, but I'd rather pick up stones any day. Boats are scary. I didn't get to say that and no listening child was able to express otherwise either because she never waited more than a half a second for an answer.

In education, we call this "wait time." It is a pretty valuable tool that you have to learn to use in teaching (it works well in parenting too). It's simple.* You ask a question and you wait. And you wait. And wait. And wait. Until someone offers an answer. Even if it is "wrong", you listen and you respond positively as much as you can. You validate contributions to the conversation. It is actually easier with younger children than anyone else because they almost always have something to say. But you have to listen and think about what you've said, what they've said, and even what's generally going on in the world. What the reader ought to have asked about the story is, "Why is bird collecting rocks?" or "Do you think that is what bird really wants to do?" or "How do you think bird feels?" And then waited for answers. The best reply to very small children is "Let's keep reading and see!" Easy. No need to discuss that they think bird really wants to fly away and eat worms or that bird is quite happy to collect stones or that mommy said that daddy's head is full of rocks. Just listen and let them share that amazing gift of belief in all things that children have in their hearts. When you do, it is always entertaining and sometimes inspirational. What gift did everyone in that room today miss out on because someone wouldn't give them a few breaths to say something?

So, let's review what we've learned friends. Do not crush the imaginations of small children. Do not ask questions you already assume you have the correct answer to (this applies to all of us really, doesn't it?;) Learn to wait for answers and listen to replies. In summary - be nice, wait and listen.

*I know it isn't simple. It is really hard and takes years to develop as a skill in teaching and in being a good listener in general. But let's pretend it is easy and all try to do it, ok?!